Okay, so after my post about the presidential inauguration, there was a startling increase of traffic on my blog. I drilled down in my site metre and noted that most of them came from a site called the Texas Predator Posse...Uh oh, that can't be good. Their logo is a deputy's badge with the view through a scope in the centre.

I followed the link back and was kind of alarmed to see my blog url embedded in a forum thread about how bad it's going to be now that Obama's president. The members are from Texas, Bush supporters, conservatives, members of the NRA and definitely not happy about the situation in Washington.

At first I took it to be a bunch of aging veterans pining for the old days when I realized that the majority are about the same age as me. I noted with interest that one link originated in Washington on the US Department of Justice server. These guys are on someone's watch list. Either way, the whole thing was a little disconcerting. A couple tried to leave comments on my blog but either couldn't figure it out or, more likely, were afraid of identifying themselves. Kind of a moot point since I have their site but they didn't know that until now.

Anyway, once I realized I wasn't going to become a target (literally, given the photos of and references to dead animals and guns - one signature reads, "There is room for all of God's creatures, right next to the mashed potatoes" haha ) - anyway, I forgot about them.
Until last night....dun dun dunnnn... just kidding

You see, I volunteered to cook chili for the ski trip this weekend. I googled "chili recipes" at work which of course pulled up 4 billion - all claiming to be the best and the original. I couldn't decide on one so went home to check out a couple of cookbooks. I was leafing through the current LCBO magazine and found this "Deep-in-the-Heart-of-Texas Chili" recipe. It looked pretty tasty and, since Texas has been on mind this week, I decided to make it as a tribute to the good ol' boys of the Texas Predator Posse. We'll never see eye to eye on George Dubya but I think we can agree there are a lot of other great things that come out of Texas.

Haha, Max Larose is such a clown! No, really. He's a clown called Pédalo - very funny and talented. Here he is with Nanane (Andréanne Thiboutot). He also performs in another troupe called Les 3 Garcons. He's the only paddler I know who's found a job he loves where he can still wear spandex every day and is the perfect application of all that training.

Obama keepin' it real

The presidential inauguration ceremony did not disappoint. Too often the president-elect is amazing during the campaign only to fall into old and tired political rhetoric on the day - trying to create that Hollywood snapshot of what Americans seem to think is appropriate for the world stage. There's no question that this day will be immortalized in that way - not by design but because it was so genuine and so significant.

Barack Obama was able to move the people simply by stating the way things are. Granted, he's an incredible orator but it was the words and the conviction behind them that determined the power of this discourse. He attested to the reality of the american economy, the peoples' accountability for environmental, martial and political issues. Without bitterness, he addressed the struggle of the people to achieve equality, included references to the founding fathers, to the immigrant population and even to their enemies, without that worn-out, american bluster. I laughed at this little bit of samurai swagger, "We are strong and we will defeat you", words that are exceedingly appropriate for this generation.

One of my favourite parts of the ceremony (there were many) was the benediction given by the Reverend Joseph Lowery. He spoke to the world but asked that Americans cling to the spirit of fellowship embodied at the inauguration. In essence, he petitioned the american people to walk the walk now that they had talked the talk. He finished with words that I haven't heard since the '60s and '70s but were common at the time, “...work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man and when white will do what's right” .

How wonderful for the people of the United States that they can hold their heads up again and be proud of themselves and the man that represents them in the community of nations.

"With a little help from my friends"

For the past couple of months I've been pretty miserable. Oh really, you knew? I wasn't hiding it well in my Little Miss Sunshine posts? Yeah, sorry. Usually I keep my more personal diary-type entries hidden but I've decided to track noticible trends around certain times of the year or in particular situations where my attitude goes in the toilet.

Well, last week after my Starbucks post, I got an email from a friend, an incredibly intelligent and insightful friend - wise beyond his years, who offered some suggestions for pulling myself out of the pit in which I'd found myself. He suggested as a starting point, listening to the Beatles, which was coincidental since I've been listening to them again recently.
Anyway, the one song he commented on was "A Day in the Life".
He wrote, "Not necessarily the lyrics, but the title. I find it puts things in perspective. Things happen. Sometimes they're good, great, Grand. Other times, well... not so much. But either way, it's a day in the life and it's better than not having it at all. If it's a bad day, it reminds you that it's only a day, it's an experience, though maybe not a good one. Like the theory goes, how do you know what happiness is without sadness? And if it's a good day, well, it's a reminder that not every day is like that, so enjoy it. Either way, it's life.... and while not always fun and super, it's something to experience."

Aside from the sheer, reassuring 'human-ness" of his email (I'm not going to lie, I cried a little bit), it reminded me that: I've developed a lot of good coping skills over the years. I can find any of my personal "pick-yourself-up & pull-yourself-together" songs on iTunes or youtube in an instant (that'll be tomorrow's post), I have a wealth of photo reminders of good times and wonderful friends. And above all, I have friends who care enough and are empathetic enough to act on impulse with a simple email or phone call.

Literally, in a moment I turned the corner.

That day, I put in for 3 weeks holidays in March and have spent the past week checking out dream travel destinations like I'm in the tourist candy store - Asia, Africa, South America and the US (California and Hawaii - warm weather only). I don't know if I'll actually end up in any of those places but what the hell, it's only money right?

Today I called the ORC and inquired about tennis lessons (I've never played). They said can you come tonight? I said sure! $105 and they give you a free racquet and 7 lessons. I had so much fun on my first night. I'm meeting new people from my neighbourhood, learning a new skill and you know what? I'm pretty good!

Honestly, I'm shaking my head because I have no idea how I let myself get so wrapped up in grief and self-pity. Who was that person?

So, since I can't come up with a way to close this, I'll leave you with a quote attributed to Albert Einstein (among others) that sums things up...

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving”

A U.S. Airways passenger jet had to ditch into the Hudson on Thursday, January 15. Intial reports say the pilot radioed to say he lost 2 engines when birds were sucked into them.
Here's the footage, released by the US Coast Guard today. The action starts around the 2:00 minute mark - you'll see a small white object enter the frame from the left. Reaction time for the rescue was very fast and the pilot is being commended for his heroics.

Sometimes you just have one of those days. You know, where it feels like you're stuck under a dark cloud? Eventually it'll go away but right now it's completely obliterating any bright spots and you lose all perspective. I've kind of felt this way for a couple of months. The concern over my parents' steady decline, constant, EXPEN$IVE car problems, issues at work (somebody didn't enter our vacation time properly for last year so even though our managers authorized all vacation requests, they're now saying we took extra days off and have to take it out of this years vacation. bah.), I'm sick, the weather sucks, the drivers are worse, I can't get out of the city but even if I could, I don't have anyone to go with....erm, okay this is pathetic. I'll add 'bad attitude' to that list....

Anyway, it all kind of piled up and hit me today. And I could boil my life down to 4 words - sleep, eat, work, gym. I was hoping a good workout would boost me up. I ran...boring...rode the bike....yawn...glided nowhere on the eliptical...sooooo tedious....

After I hit the sauna and shower, I went outside where it was minus 20 and found the roads (and my car) snow-covered. Defeated, I walked over to Starbucks. I thought a berry chai might give me a lift before I headed home to my Eleanor Rigby life. I'm ordering my drink, pulling out my wallet and running the speech in my head that says I'm ridiculous for spending $3.40 on a beverage just because it says Starbuck's on the logo when the girl behind the counter says, "Oh, you can put your wallet away. Someone came in earlier and covered all the drinks for tonight!"

I was like "What?"

She said, "That's right. free".

I said, "You mean like a customer came in and said, "Good evening barristas, bevvies on me and money's no object!"??
She said, "Yeah, that's pretty much how it happened."

Wow. Nameless, faceless Starbuck's person, you made my day!

I've been ridiculously sick this past week. Since I was useless for anything else, I decided to do some clearing out and go through the crawlspace under the stairs. It's full of boxes that I put there 9 years ago when I moved to Port Credit. I had no idea what was in them but figured since I haven't missed anything since the move, they're probably full of junk.


Instead, I found a box of CDs I thought were long gone, and then - PHOTO GOLD! An entire box of photographs I forgot even existed. Pictures of my son's first trip off the continent at 15, a 3-month exchange program to France, getting his drivers licence, paddling pics from '96-'99 and a nice surprise, a few pictures of my friend Susi's dogs.

That may not sound too important but about 9 years ago Susi turned the corner on her way home from work and was horrified to see her street full of firetrucks and firefighters trying to put out the blaze that was her house. Her children were grown and away from home but firefighters kept her at the end of the driveway, helpless and crying, as her house burned to the ground with her adored pets - 3 dogs and a cat - inside. The fire was too big and too hot, there was nothing they could do to save them.

When people say they've lost everything in a fire (aside from living creatures), I always think of the big things - the roof over their heads, furniture, appliances, that kind of stuff. But a huge loss is the memories contained in photos. I can't even imagine. My mom used to tell me that if our house caught fire, after her children (thanks mom!) she would try to save her photographs. Anyway, I knew Susi had been able to get a single photo of one dog from the breeder but that was it. I was so glad to be able to find something to replace them.

Long time. Christmas seems about a year ago but I want to get some stuff down. I'm really sick at the moment though so that may colour the way it comes out - sort of ho-hum....
I had a great Christmas season - lots of parties, lots of people to see. Louise, Jonathon and Mia were home from Hong Kong and we partied it up at her mom's as usual.

I attended a memorial for John Boy Ryan where I saw dozens of old friends from 15-20 years ago. Sounds weird I know but it was one of those sad-happy occasions.

I had our C-4 + a few over on the 23rd - Chrissy & Jeff, Jess, Larry, Chanda, Marisha and Carrie came by for some Thai food and a relaxed night. Marisha had to head to her brother's in Montreal so missed Chrissy & Jeff.
Ryan came over on Christmas Eve. After he shovelled the driveway, we had leftover thai and watched back-to-back movies.

Christmas day was the nursing home run. My sister picked up my mom and brought her up to my dad's (they're in separate homes by circumstance, not design) and after a visit, Laurel headed home to make sure Christmas dinner was on track. Ryan and I took mom back to her nursing home - my father is aware but cannot get out of bed whereas my mother is completely mobile but has Parkinsons. She has no idea who or where she is or any recognition of us or, quite frankly, of reality. However, with all that, this is the first year we weren't all together for Christmas dinner. It was definitely less exhausting but it's one of the moments. You know?

New Years Eve, I went to Tammy and Greg's for an early new year celebration with the Seckos and kids, Charlotte and Kyle, Blake & Jackie with Sydney, Rich & Steph Phelan with Brady and 1 week-old Griffin and Julie Secko. We rang in 2009 with the kids at 8:00pm and then played Wii until about 11:30. Marisha called to say she was at the Harp with a few people if I wanted to join them but I felt like I'd had a new years and wasn't feeling the pub vibe at the moment. Went home and flipped between Nathan Philips Square and Time Square until midnight.

I was supposed to go to Andrea's on friday night but came down with a really bad cold, high fever. I cancelled and went to bed instead.
Even though I had this stupid cold, I wanted to carry on as planned. The weekend after New Years was starting to shape up as a fun one: a fashion photo shoot for Danielle with Rachel E as a model at the lighthouse and a jewellry class in Bloor West Village for Tammy's birthday, then snowshoeing on Sunday. It all came to a crashing halt when I got a call that my dad was rushed to hospital.
He was at Sunnybrook and when I arrived he was still out in the hall with paramedics. He was there for about 2 hours. The medics who brought him in had to leave - they're on the ETF squad and got a call - so another couple of paramedics inherited him, staying with us until he was admitted.
The hospital was on overflow and he was shifted from one hall to another until a nurse took a look at him and said he was too sick and had to be put in ICU.
Thank goodness. He was freezing cold but sweating and having difficulty breathing. His caregiver said he hadn't eaten for a couple of days. Hours later, the doctor came to me and said his circulation system had already shutdown and his kidneys were not functioning. He said he didn't expect him to last more than a few hours and I should call the rest of the family. My sister was already in the air, on her way home from a vacation in Whistler so I called my brother in Winnipeg and asked if he could come home. He called me later and said he couldn't get a flight until morning. The end of christmas holidays and EVERYONE on the continent was flying somewhere.
I called Ryan and asked him to come back to the hospital - he'd just left 45 minutes before. We stayed in dad's room overnight, sleeping on chairs. Not really sleeping though. It was pretty awful because every 20 minutes or so my dad would stop breathing and clutch his arms to his chest. Each time we jumped up to grab his hands thinking it was his last moment. At no point did he seem aware of us, the few times he opened his eyes they were unfocused and looking past us.
By the morning not much had changed but his fever was gone. His skin was still freezing to the touch though and his pupils were pinpoints. My sister and brother arrived about the same time - shortly after noon - I stayed until the doctor came and looked at him, said no change. I tapped out. He was stable and I'd been at the hospital for 30 hours. I was exhausted. Of course there was a parking ticket on my car in the emergency lot when I came out.
Anyway, they kept him in the ICU until Tuesday when they moved him to a regular room. Today a speech therapist determined that he's able to swallow so he'll be allowed to have some food. He's actually aware now and recognizes us. I planned to go back to work today but am now so sick that I sent an email around 1 am to let them know I wouldn't be in.
My car's in the garage and I'm driving the Honda Fit dad bought for the caregiver to drun errands when he was still living at home. Kind of good to have this floater vehicle for times like this.
Once I know my dad's stable again I'm going on a long holiday.