The Six Sixes

The Six Sixes is the latest way for women to judge a man's boyfriend potential. Reading down the page, it pretty much rules out every man except Hugh Jackman or Gerard Butler but the theory is simple - you don't have to have all of the sixes but the more you have, the higher your value.
So here they are - The Six Sixes

• At least SIX feet tall. Sorry Brad Pitt, Jason Statham.
• A SIX figure salary
• A SIX pack
• SIX months or more since your last relationship (to gauge if you're really over them)
• SIX hundred horsepower under the hood

and of course

• At least SIX inches

When I was young we just referred to it as the list...no caps or quotes...just the list, my list, your list... we added things to the list or removed things from the list, usually so the current boyfriend/love interest fell within our declared parameters.

I don't remember everything on my list but it included things like;

• a good sense of humour
• able to play guitar, bass, keyboard or drums -any instrument found in our favourite bands. Flute was acceptable ONLY if you could play like Jethro Tull
• athletic. Biceps seemed more important in those days but maybe it's because guys didn't wander around shirtless as much as they do now.
• a car - preferably one that wasn't held together by bondo
• decent teeth. This was from my mother but once she mentioned it, I couldn't stop noticing a guy's teeth. Bad teeth became a deal breaker.  Some are just nasty - like there's moss growing on them. Guys, seriously just brush your teeth.
• a watch
• at least one pair of good shoes (these were the days when runners were gym shoes and only gym shoes)

Of course, my list was modified over the years based on age and/or circumstances but The Six Sixes have caused me to reconsider my process. I'll post my personal sixes after I've given it some thought.

That Bieber won't stop staring at me.

I'm in Shoppers, texting Chrissy, when I get that creepy feeling someone is staring at me. Head down, I catch a figure just on my periphery in a wide-legged, confrontational stance. Is it someone I know? This is going on a little too long to be natural. It takes a few breaths to realize it's a cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber - an advert for the Bieb's new perfume. Chin resting on thumb, it's no wonder the intense gaze made the hair on my arms stand up.They're in every Shoppers, sometimes staring out the window at the sidewalk or peeking into the store from behind shelving. Whatever, it seems effective since ggle tells me he made perfume-launch history with sales topping $3mil in just 4 weeks.

Anyway, I was at the drugstore after going for a paddle with Doug. He has a couple of the 404s that Danny Ching is selling. I loved the board! It's narrower so your feel for the water is greater than on the super-stable Barks. The 12'6" I took out had some delamination on the bottom that apparently happened because the board was rushed through production to get it up to canada in time for a sup race. It wasn't allowed to cure for the requisite amount of time so a little too long in the sun caused it to ripple like a lays potato chip. I checked online forums, blogs and review sites and can't find any incidence or statements of a delaminition issue with 404s so accept that explanation.

I would love to own one of these boards - they're light, smooth running and expensive ($2500-$2600). Realistically, if I'm going to get anything it'll be at the opposite end of the sprectrum from the competitor, a little more like a surfboard. I've seen a couple around and, bonus, they're fairly inexpensive - around $1000. Dav is dropping by to take at look at the leak in my outrigger so he'll bring one of his boards for me to try. In the meantime, I'm happy with the competitor in spite of it's rigid bottom that makes it difficult for me to grab a wave. Thank goodness I surfed before I SUPped, otherwise I'd never know that the board makes a difference and it's not just me.

I paddled oc-2 with the oakville group last night - (8,1,6,1,4,1,2,1) 1 minutes were sprints with 1 minute rest between. Perfect workout after our 35km race around Cape Ann last weekend.

Chanda and I met for a paddle this morning. A beautiful flat day on the lake with a little wind and swell from the S-E pushing us back in.

So really, I don't mind having company. I was just thrown because I didn't initiate it and he was bringing his kid. I thought it over and decided to go ahead. I booked a couple of days off work, brought in some groceries, picked them up at the airport. Within minutes of getting to my house, I found the 9 year old in my room, going through my jewellry boxes. She thought my diamond earrings were really pretty. I think they're pretty too - so, after I'd ushered her out of my room, I put them in a drawer where they'd be safe.

 

We visited the CN Tower, spent the weekend at the race and then I took them to Niagara Falls on Tuesday. Things were good until then, when the 9 year old had a meltdown. After that, I'd had enough.

 

Brad had made plans to have dinner with friends in the beaches on their last night. I really wanted some time to myself so kept saying they could visit their friends without me. Brad seemed to think I was just being polite and kept insisting I join them. The day of, I insisted that I really didn't want to go and Brad said they weren't going either. Great. My quiet night at home was a bust. Even when I went downstairs to watch a show I'd pvred , Brad was sitting there watching sports. I decided to just go to my room and read. They'd be gone in 12 hours and I'd have as much time to myself as I wanted.

 

Such a relief to drop them at the airport! Brad texted me later that they almost missed their flight and when he got home they found the drunk ex-girlfriend changing the locks on the house. crazytown.

 

Lesson learned. Brad and I would have had a really good time if he'd come on his own so I have a new rule - visitors okay but no kids!

What is it they say about houseguests and fish?

Oh right, after 3 days they start to smell.
This past week I've been entertaining american houseguests...that I didn't invite...one of whom is a 9 year old girl... so please understand if it seems nasty to say that the old saw holds true.

As near as I can tell, here's how it came about.

On a recent trip to the states I rented a room in "Brad's" house . A mutual friend set it up when I couldn't find a hotel room in the area. Brad's a very nice guy; invited me out with his friends, provided copious amounts of good wine, let me use his oc-2 so a friend and I could paddle. On the other hand, the rental wasn't exactly as it had been described - a spacious house with only one person living there, private bed + bath. Instead it came with his crazy, dipsomaniacal girlfriend who sat at a stack of papers in the dining room all day "working" (drinking), an aging Rhodesian Ridgeback who drooled and farted continuously, the local drunk who arrived early every morning and sat in the kitchen (right outside my bedroom door) drinking cheap white wine and yelling into his cell phone, a cute-but-shifty guy from "here and there", Sherry & Dan, married, Toronto-area dbers attending the kwokker camp (she wanted to discuss their "technique" all day/every day) and Brad's daughter Christina who alternated one week at her dad's house, one week at her mom's. Brad had moved her out of her bedroom so I could sleep there and she made it clear that she was not impressed by going through all my stuff and tossing it onto the floor.

I started calling it Crazy Town about 5 minutes after I arrived and the happenings over the course of the month just confirmed that I'd nailed it.

In spite of it all, I had a really good time while I was there and Brad continued to send fb messages after I left, keeping me up to date on the most recent 'craziness (there was plenty) and sending info about races in the Gulf area he thought I should attend.

I wasn't about to make the trip back to Fla. so I told him we were doing the Blackburn race in Boston and suggested he find a crew to paddle with up there. He was interested so I sent him the weblink. Conversationally, he asked what other races our club was doing and I sent him the details of a couple, one of which is our local one that circles the Island.

So one night about a month ago, I'm paddling with Karen & Nancy and Karen says,

"I hear Brad is coming up to T.O. to do the ATI race".

Oh that's nice, I say, where did you hear that? 

"From Sherry & Dan. I guess they invited him to stay with them."

Oh, that'll be fun, I say, It's strange that he didn't mention it. I'll have them all over for dinner while he's here.

I forgot about it until I recevied another message from Brad detailing his on-going battle with the dipso- now ex- gf. I responded with a "Hey, I hear you're making a trip to Toronto! Are you coming to race? You should do the ATI and then stay for Schro's SUP race".  His response was a little vague, not sure if I can make it, supposed to have Christina that week, time off work, etc...I forgot about it.

The next thing I know there's a message from Brad saying, "Great news, I'm coming to Toronto! I'm getting Christina's passport fast-tracked. We can only stay for a week, hope you've got room for both of us!

Okay. Wait. WHAT??? No, seriously! WTF???

more later...

Getting into a routine, sort of, especially now that db is over. No more Thursday night interruptus. Back to doing what I want, when I want.

The long weekend was awesome and the weather held up. I was at JD beach at 7:30am friday (Canada Day) morning. There were already lots of people there, all asian/indian, setting up party sites, saving parking spots. It's a strange phenomenon that white people abandon the park on weekends. I was sending a friend the link for the park's website and on the home page they take note of this fact; "It is a very multicultural place, at times a stranger couldn't tell that the park is in Canada.". Completely true.

Anyway, I paddled about 10 kms, came into the beach for some coffee and granola bar, back for more paddling, some more beach time, rinse, repeat. The early morning light hits the water at an angle that makes it clear straight to the bottom. I paddled towards the P-Can plant and then turned back towards the Ridgetown. I was about 1500m from shore and looked down to see a giant school of fish - HUNDREDS, maybe THOUSANDS of them, no lie. I can tell you what they weren't - carp or salmon - but I couldn't tell you what they were. All I know is it's very hard to paddle standing up when you're watching the action on the bottom of the lake. I just kept paddling and the fish just kept on coming - it was pretty awesome!  I do see the occasional salmon, usually in the late evening, but it's rare to see more than 5 or 6 fish scooting across the bottom at a time. I guess the boats with fish finders are more aware of how many are actually down there. I should talk to Drake and see what they might have been..

It was a beautiful morning and I was surprised that 4 hours had passed by the time I loaded the car and headed home.

I was pretty energized so I set about taking down that sick tree/shrub on the north side of my driveway. It sticks out and now that I have to park 2 cars in the driveway, it's in the way. I was just going to prune it back but noticed that it's being eaten by bugs. I still have all this furniture in the garage (for sale - cheap - if you know anyone who likes pine and needs living room stuff) so I couldn't get to where I keep the hand saws. Didn't matter. Didn't need one. I grabbed one of the branches and it was so chewed up and rotten that it came away in my hand! I was able to take it down to a ragged stump which I'll cut down soon. Soonish.

It's a good time to do the work since the house next door is empty. Actually, it just sold for $600K! which is great news for me since it's smaller than mine with fewer amenities.

After cleaning up the garden some more, I crashed with a book for a couple of hours. Later in the evening, I dropped into Port Credit to check out some of the celebrations but didn't stay long.