What is it they say about houseguests and fish?

Oh right, after 3 days they start to smell.
This past week I've been entertaining american houseguests...that I didn't invite...one of whom is a 9 year old girl... so please understand if it seems nasty to say that the old saw holds true.

As near as I can tell, here's how it came about.

On a recent trip to the states I rented a room in "Brad's" house . A mutual friend set it up when I couldn't find a hotel room in the area. Brad's a very nice guy; invited me out with his friends, provided copious amounts of good wine, let me use his oc-2 so a friend and I could paddle. On the other hand, the rental wasn't exactly as it had been described - a spacious house with only one person living there, private bed + bath. Instead it came with his crazy, dipsomaniacal girlfriend who sat at a stack of papers in the dining room all day "working" (drinking), an aging Rhodesian Ridgeback who drooled and farted continuously, the local drunk who arrived early every morning and sat in the kitchen (right outside my bedroom door) drinking cheap white wine and yelling into his cell phone, a cute-but-shifty guy from "here and there", Sherry & Dan, married, Toronto-area dbers attending the kwokker camp (she wanted to discuss their "technique" all day/every day) and Brad's daughter Christina who alternated one week at her dad's house, one week at her mom's. Brad had moved her out of her bedroom so I could sleep there and she made it clear that she was not impressed by going through all my stuff and tossing it onto the floor.

I started calling it Crazy Town about 5 minutes after I arrived and the happenings over the course of the month just confirmed that I'd nailed it.

In spite of it all, I had a really good time while I was there and Brad continued to send fb messages after I left, keeping me up to date on the most recent 'craziness (there was plenty) and sending info about races in the Gulf area he thought I should attend.

I wasn't about to make the trip back to Fla. so I told him we were doing the Blackburn race in Boston and suggested he find a crew to paddle with up there. He was interested so I sent him the weblink. Conversationally, he asked what other races our club was doing and I sent him the details of a couple, one of which is our local one that circles the Island.

So one night about a month ago, I'm paddling with Karen & Nancy and Karen says,

"I hear Brad is coming up to T.O. to do the ATI race".

Oh that's nice, I say, where did you hear that? 

"From Sherry & Dan. I guess they invited him to stay with them."

Oh, that'll be fun, I say, It's strange that he didn't mention it. I'll have them all over for dinner while he's here.

I forgot about it until I recevied another message from Brad detailing his on-going battle with the dipso- now ex- gf. I responded with a "Hey, I hear you're making a trip to Toronto! Are you coming to race? You should do the ATI and then stay for Schro's SUP race".  His response was a little vague, not sure if I can make it, supposed to have Christina that week, time off work, etc...I forgot about it.

The next thing I know there's a message from Brad saying, "Great news, I'm coming to Toronto! I'm getting Christina's passport fast-tracked. We can only stay for a week, hope you've got room for both of us!

Okay. Wait. WHAT??? No, seriously! WTF???

more later...