I've been so happy since I started training again. Content, more balanced, motivated.

For the past couple of years I've been at a loose end because I wasn't racing or part of a training group. Then an opportunity to buy an outrigger came up and I had access to all the things I love about paddling - the elemental, physical, mental - but I was missing something important. Even though I was around the club, I didn't feel a part of it. I almost quit paddling altogether!

Then an opportunity to join my old training group came up. Because I'd kept paddling, I didn't need to think twice about it. And now everything feels ... normal.

This morning Chrissy and I were in the paddle pool and she commented on how amazing it is that our muscles 'remember'. We both took the same amount of time off after racing in Australia - about 2 years - and have had the same experience: when we've joined a gym or taken up a different sport, it's a workout and it's fun but it never quite feels natural. The return to our old weight room and paddle pool workouts is seamless - it feels like we never left.

I was really glad she brought this up because I've been having a strange experience. I'll be doing the workout, whatever it might be, and will catch sight of myself in the mirror and am shocked by my appearance. Seriously, I catch a look and think " who is that...wait, what? When did I get so old? gain so much weight? Get that awesome lululemon shirt...? I should point out that when I look in the mirror anywhere else, I see what I expect to see - 50 year old me. It's all about the context - wherever it is I go when I'm in that environment.

I'm not kidding myself that I'll be racing sprint canoe anytime soon but I sure feel like I could - and that's half the battle.