A lot of us watch the film Without Limits, about Steve Prefontaine, before a big race or when we need inspiration in training. The thing that stuck with me most (and almost defeated me) was a comment made by Oregon track coach, Bill Bowerman. It was something to the effect that the only way an athlete can get through the day to day workouts, season after season is to figure out a personal reason why it's so important to be the fastest to go between A and B.
I struggled with this because really, why was I, at 40+ years, trying to compete with sub-25 year olds. Anyone who saw me trying to balance in a C1 must have wondered that too.
In the end, the reason was supplied by the question - the fact that I could compete was reason enough. Does that make sense? I guess it can be summed up by a quote from Pre, "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift".
I was lucky that everyone at Missy was encouraging and supportive. Eventually, I was able to remove age from the equation and learn to work through fatigue and disappointment during a workout or race. I would take inspiration where I found it - if I was struggling during a running workout, passing a senior with a walker presented the reality that I wouldn't always be able to just throw on some gear and head out for a run. Grateful for my 'two feet and a heartbeat', I always found a second wind. Suddenly, I was no longer doing a workout - I'd remember that I actually LOVE running.
Anyway, a lot of friends are racing in the Moloka'i hoe this coming weekend so I was checking out the outrigger forum on ocpaddler and came across this post from Kekoa under "Who are you racing for?" At first I rolled my eyes as it appeared to be just another bleeding heart, count-your-blessings speech. But reading to the end brought me face-to-face with that familiar struggle to stay motivated. Seriously, for all of us there are days when just getting out of bed is a challenge. These guys are about to race the 42 miles from Molokai to Oahu. I'm sure many who read Kekoa's words will think of them somewhere in the middle of the race and instead of pain and fatigue will think only of the gift; the will, the strength, the kinship, the ocean.

I racing for my family, friends and loved ones. I racing for the children and adults with disease and handicaps. I racing for all the people starving and suffering, especially the children, in the world. I racing for the homeless who not because of being lazy or drugs just cannot afford to live in a home. I racing for those who are no longer with us (unfortunately too many to name). I racing for the child who’s parents don’t give a shit about them. I racing for the person who feels like an outcast and that they have nobody. I racing for whoever doesn’t feel loved. Does me racing for them change anything? Probably not. I no care. They are who I think about when I get tired or my body gets sore or I start feeling sorry for myself. And they are the ones that make me feel so lucky to be able to go out and compete in this endeavor. that’s all that matters. Might sound like bullshit and I getting too deep, but it is exactly what I think about everytime I go paddle. Because who really gives a rip who wins the Molokai? Gotta be more than winning cause there are over a hundred crews who not going win. So I ask, who are you racing for?