I had the best sleep last night so, when I woke up at 5:45am, I figured I might as well get up and go paddle. There was a full moon hanging low over Starbucks. It was still fairly dark so I put my boat on the ramp (absolute low tide at the moment) and I sipped my misto as the moon sunk behind the bayou. As soon as it was light enough, I pushed off.

More wind this morning - I'm good and sick of it but then I just have to think about the Pines and the screaming winds on the Indian-Banana waterways and I feel better. Last night was ridiculous though. 30km hour winds. I only did 8km in the afternoon. Such a tough paddle.

When Conor got home from the site, we went to the grocery store with our spaghetti dinner list. So nice to be having sit-down meals with the boys. Conor was reminding me of our trip to training camp (the Pines) in 2000. We were having a laugh about Matty-B and how their training group used to stuff him in a boat cover and zip it up for entertainment. Ah Matt! So fun.

Dinner was great and then we watched one of the Family Guy movies. Everyone crashed fairly early.

Right now I'm doing some laundry but pretty soon I'll head out for the afternoon. I did a 14km paddle this morning so this aft, I'll just paddle up to the beach and chill. I keep hoping that the wind will die down but I know the weathernetwork report has not varied one iota from the predicted 17km/hr winds today.

Hurray, Tomi & Conor are here! Week three of OPA and the group is switching up. I've been sleeping on the couch for the past two nights. Don't get me wrong, it's super comfy but since I'm camping in the common living area for 6 other people, I'm tied to their schedule. And those dragon boat ladies like to get up EARLY!

However, they've returned to their homes and I'm in my own room now. It's the best accommodations yet - the bed is awesome and I have a view of the swamp right out back. No, I mean it literally comes right up to the foundation of the house. It's so relaxing - the sounds and the light, I keep the windows open at night.

Tamas arrived first, just as Pete was heading to Tampa to meet Conor's flight. We were just hanging out catching up on each others lives when there was a knock at the door. Tomi opened the door and a guy asked for Doug somebody. I was lounging on the couch and, since Tamas had just arrived, I called out that there hadn't been anyone by that name here. He then asked if there was a Rick here, Doug's brother, because he was a repo man here to pick up something that they had defaulted on. I jumped up and went to the door expecting maybe a scary-looking repo-type guy but it was just a pleasant looking small guy with a clipboard. We explained we were renters and didn't actually know the guys who owned the place. Repo guy asked if he could ook in the garage. Now, the garage has been a sore point all month because normally it's used for storing paddles, lifejackets, amas, etc but for some reason this year it's locked down tight and Rick hasn't responded to any emails asking for access. So we told Repo-depot that we didn't have access to the garage. He went around the corner to see if he could find a window to peek in. His tow truck was idling at the end of the driveway and since the guy who owns this place also owns the house next door (or maybe his girlfriend does), we thought they might come over to investigate what was going on.

They guy came back to the door and was really nice about the situation. He apologized that he might have to come back with the sheriff and break down the garage door. We said cool, as long as he didn't mind us video-taping it and putting it on youtube!

Peter & Conor arrived not too long after that. United Airlines had lost Conor's luggage and had given him a "Sky Spa" kit to hold him over until they found it. It contained many useful items like hairpsray.

We let Peter know about the repo guy and we all thought it explained the mystery of the locked garage.
None of us had eaten so we used my virgin Papa John's online account to order pizza.

Had some fun at the camp dinner last night - we went to Costa's. This is a particularly fun group but they surprisingly packed it in very early. However it was nice to catch up with people I used to coach - Joe from the RT crew and Sue from SOTW.
I'ver moved into the house now with Pete and am very happy to be out of my room at the T.I.
The ladies staying at the house woke up very early this morning; at 5:40am flipping on the lights, making coffee, whispering how they hoped they wouldn't wake me. Since I'm sleeping on the couch, I had anticipated an early morning and was ready with training clothes on the end of the couch and my back pack packed with a change of clothes, towel, garmin, iPod, water and an apple. I quickly changed and was on the road by 6:15. It was still dark so I went to Starbucks and read until the sun rose. I actually have to thank the ladies. I had the best paddle so far.

The park at the bayou was already busy - it's their big art show this weekend. I slipped out on the water with something mellow on the ipod - Rickie Lee Jones I think. Because the Spring Bayou boat ramp was closed for the Art show and it was low tide there were absolutely no boats on the water. And no wind. I paddled on glass with a slight mist rising for 2.5 km before I was even aware of myself.

I did about 17 km. Once I was out on the Gulf though, there was continuous boat traffic from the Hickory Point boat launch and, as the tide rose, the bigger boats from town, like the Two Georges, made their way along the channel. I turned and paddled in with the tide.

When I got back in, the campers had just finished the Kolo Memo - everyone had huge smiles on their faces. I said goodbye to the ones I knew and headed for my car. I cleaned up and changed into fresh clothes so I could wander around the art show. This wasn't like the ones we have at home where the best & brightest of our retired men and church ladies display their watercolours of roses (no offence). There was some truly wonderful and original stuff! I was very tempted to purchase a black & white image of a gulf view (coincidentally the name of the piece) done in a glass process I've never seen before. I decided instead to get a coffee and consider whether I really wanted it or if it would turn out to be a $250 impulse purchase.

Wandering across the park, I had one of those moments of pure, undiluted happiness.

Ultimately, I purchased two pieces from one artist. He uses a router to create the design on wood, then paints with acrylics, finishes with varnish, frames in maple. I love his work and could easily have come home with a half dozen pieces. One I liked (but didn't purchase) bordered on kitzchy - a Haring-like barking dog framed by the words "how come my dog don't bark when you come around?"

Anyway, the pieces I bought are called 'Tucked In' (approx. 12" x 36")

and 'Sea Dreaming' (approx. 36" x 36")

It's weird because that is the second mermaid I've purchased in a week. Mermaids, (unicorns, fairys, etc) have never appealed to me specifially because they're mythical so I don't get what spawned this. Come to think of it, I bought a mermaid fridge magnet when I was in Athens, after our ordeal on the ocean. I suppose it could have something to do with that.

I walked around for a little longer and then left before I spent more money. Grabbed a chicken sandwich at Panera and ate my lunch at the house. I'm so pleased to have this big place and a pool to lie beside that I've opted to stay here while the others go down to the practice site. When I was staying at the motel, I had to continuously come up with things to do, jsut so I wouldn't have to spend any time in that room. Jess & Pete just put all the paddles into the pool. I didn't ask why, maybe because they (the paddles, not Jess &Pete) have been frying in the hot sun in the back of the pick-up. I'm going to lie poolside listening to the carbon paddles klink together - a BRAČA wind chime.


ahhhhh. Life is...

I had just read Seb's post that it was raining up in Hommosasses & within 20 min. I heard it coming down hard outside. I opened my door and it was like a mini tornado going through. Shit! The boats!
I drove down to the boat ramp and there was a boat lying half in the ramp. There was a lot of lightning so I pulled the car up close, jumped out and grabbed the seat which was just floating away. The lightning was getting closer so I scoped out the exact spot I wanted to move it to from the car before making a move. I was soaked by the time I finishd but it's between the 2 oc-6s so it's not going anywhere. Will have to see if there's any damage in the morning.

I woke up at 6am but didn't get on the water until 8:30. Tide is coming in but there's a really stiff tailwind which creates great waves for riding.
Out...
Coming back in was a different story. Such a weird workout. It feels like I'm going faster on the way out with the waves and wind at my back but, coming back into the headwind is so tough but my speed goes up by about one or two km/hour because I'm with the tide.

There's this really big house - green and white - that takes up one of the curves on the river, just before Sunset Beach. I've noticed it since the first year we started coming here, partly because it's so well-kept (as in "wouldn't I love to liver there!) but also because there's usually a big tour-style bus parked beside it. I've often wondered if it's owned by a rock star. Today and dark navy helicopter flew in low over the river as I was paddling up, I thought it was just coming in for a look (lots of dolphins today) but it landed at the green house. It took off within a couple of minutes and flew over me, just yards above my head. A couple of middle-aged guys were fishing off the dock. Now I wonder if it's a politicians place.

up at 7am
Starbucks
On the water at 7:45
Heavy fog on the bayou. It has a garlicky-salty smell - like something cooking that might taste really good (or really bad). The sun is huge and yellow in the east. The fog burns off quickly as I go up the Anclote. I paddle out to channel marker 5a (7km) without seeing anyone although the factories along the water start their thrumming promptly at 8. No joke - it's like some heartbeat that you gradually forget about the longer you're on the water. Not sure what's in production. This town seems to be slowly dying.

Beautiful, amazing paddle. No wind for the first time since I've been here. Still though, completely flat (=boring). I'm actually thrilled when a fishing boat goes by at low speed and creates some wash.

I came back in and hit Starbucks again. It's a two coffee day. I meet up with Jess and we have breakfast at Danny K's. Restaurant food is starting to wear on me and I leave half my breakfast uneaten. We get our gear together and paddle out to Sunset beach (I had to ask a server in Santorini's what the name is since we never go in from the road where the sign is.. They show movies on the beach there at dusk on Saturdays.

Jess had to get back early for a camper bbq but I lay there until 4:30 or so before paddling back in. Fun. The tide was coming in and I caught a ride on the wash of two commercial fishing boats - if I fell off the wash of the first one, I used the second one to catapult me back onto it again. I leapfrogged like that all the way back in and the 4km ride in went by in a second!
Random, a guy on a stand up paddleboard appeared out of one of the canals.  As I passed him, he asked if I'd like to swap. I laughed and said I was surprised to see an SUP out here. He said he lives here and finds it a great way to get around the river. I was having so much fun wash-riding that I waved goodbye and kept going. He seemed like an interesting guy though so I'll stop if I see him out there again.

After showering off the sunscreen, salt and sand, I walked into town and found a place with real coconut ice cream - mmmyyyy favourite. I don't actually like ice cream so I guess you could say it's my only ice cream flavour. Is everyone in this town a character? The ice cream guy asked where I was from and, when I said Toronto, launched into an epic tale of how his great-great-great grandfather was the original owner of the native-contested land in Caledonia. But, did I know it actually started in 17-hundred & something in Pennsylvania...when William Wallace (?!) begat someone, then this women blah blah, this indentured servant.....and so I said I'd love to hear more but was on my way to meet friends, had to go, thanks so much....random history lesson!

It's such a nice evening,  I wandered around town, picked a greek salad up at Santorini's and ate it in the park by the bayou, watching the manatees bob up and down again.

Excited for another early morning paddle tomorrow. Now that I'm halfway through my trip, I'm beginning to realize how much warm-water paddling I'd better squeeze in. We're in for another thunder storm on the weekend, unfortunately, so I may use that as an excuse to go to Tampa for the day.

All of my devices (GPS & iPod) are on low battery so I'm killing time on the motel office computer while they recharge.

This morning I woke up at 7am but instantly fell back asleep until 7:45. Within that 45 minutes I had a crazy, anxiety & anger-filled dream that was incedibly detailed. (it was about having to finish the swimming leg of a relay but I was frustrated by forgotten equipment, rescheduling of the relay, no transportation and someone strangely trying to stop me from racing). I put it all down to the residual, smushy pain I was feeling under my left shoulderblade.

Anyway, By the time I woke up, I knew Pete's group would just be gathering at the boat ramp for the 8am workout so I decided to go to Starbucks before my paddle

There's nothing like motel living to make you appreciate Starbuckers and the like. This particular store has their comfy furniture arranged for single visitors with a couple of tables scattered around. Anyone who frequents the PC Starbucks can tell you they'd do well to follow this model. I've been in there many times (usually in the afternoon and evening) when every table has only a single user who is taking advantage of the free wireless, reading or just loitering. Actually, I shouldn't complain. I once met a guy because we shared a table there and started chatting. We went on a few dates but it didn't really go anywhere. Anyway, the point is I'm so happy to have somewhere out of my room to enjoy my coffee and book in a comfy chair. I'll often go over to the park at the bayou but those benches are hard.

Around 9:30, I headed out in my boat, going up the Anclote River instead of towards the Gulf. The tide was going out so I hit the bottom around 3.5kms and had to turn around. I worked it up to 9km by paddling up towards the Gulf a ways.

As I was passing under the final bridge, Jess ran by overhead. She wanted to go for coffee in a half hour - after her run, but I'd made plans to ride down to Dunedin and declined. I had my afternoon pretty much mapped out.

I made good time and decided to stay for lunch. The patio at Kelly's was hit and miss with the sun but I didn't mind. You can tell the Canadians - we're the ones wearing short sleeves and no jackets. I'm still blown away by how good the service is in the US compared to Canada. Servers are polite and attentive compared to our surly and bitter ones at home (or is that just T.O.?)

I wandered a bit and bought a wooden mermaid as a souvenir. It's similar but not identical to the one below - painted white, she carries a star in outstretched arms. I really like it and am excited to find a place for it at home. (oh my god, I'll be wearing a purple hat soon). Since I was riding my bike, I had to tuck her into my bike bag with her tail sticking out about a foot. It looked like I was bringing fish home for dinner.

I took it easy in my room for awhile but when I got ready to go out again, the door wouldn't close and lock. It's been doing this all week - I have to slam it in order to get it to lock. However, today it's hit the point of no return. I had told the maintenance guy about it before just because housekeeping didn't always make sure it was locked when they left the room. He kept putting me off but this time he had to fix it.
Just noticed the time, hopefully my GPS & iPod have enough charge for the next paddle. I was hoping the wind would die down a bit by evening but it's looking pretty strong. Doesn't matter...sun is shining.

Oh man. I went out for half an hour to grab a sandwich and when I got back there was a massive takedown going on at the good old Tarpon Inn. 5 police cars. I just locked myself in my room but I could still hear the drama. Anyway, there was some yelling but it's quiet now. I'm going to go out to see if I can move my car. I had to park down the block because the sheriffs' cars were all over the parking lot.

Nope, still a mess out there but I moved my car anyway.

Yesterday it poured rain with lightning so Jess and I had breakfast at Danny K's and then went to the Gulf View Mall in New Port Richey (or Port Richey, I can't keep them straight plus their about 1km apart). I wasn't really in the mood for mall shopping but it was a distraction.

After I dropped Jess off at their place, I hit Panera's for a sandwich. Later, I walked over to Walgreens and took the long way home. The sky had cleared and there was a great sunset over the Gulf. I painted my toes with OPI's Hearts and Tarts and watched trashy tv for awhile. Early night since I wanted to get on the water as soon after sunrise as possible.

Woke up at 7:15, ate some yogurt and headed to the bayou. There was the usual headwind adn, when I picked up my boat to carry it to the ramp, a gust caught the boat sideways. In turning it intot he wind, one of my ribs popped out. I thought I might be able to work it back in with some long easy strokes but it didn't take long to realize that, yep, it's was popped out good. I couldn't take a deep breath. I paddled 10km anyway just because it feels good while you're paddling.

When I got back, I tried to find somewhere that sells foam rolls. Walmart sells them but only online - 3 to 5 days express delivery but they don't carry them in-store. I thought I'd found a fitness store really close by but when I got to the location, the street existed but didn't have the same name as it did on the map (every other street in the area was right). Also, there was a sign-making store at that unit number. However, just as I was making a u-turn, I saw a Cross-fit location. I went in and talked to the guy running it and he let me use on of their foam rolls to see if I could pop it back in. I wasn't able to there but it felt a little better after 15-20 minutes.

I decided to try Walmart anyway - you never know - so headed back to Port Richey to the Supercentre. They didn't have the proper foam roll but they did carry oversized pool noodles. I got one of those and cut it in half. I rolled on it a bit - no results but still felt a little better. I ate some lunch and had a bunch of water then tried again. On the first roll there was a huge crack and - HURRAY - I could breath without pain again. It's still tender but I went out this afternoon and had a wicked 12km paddle - 6 were in that killer headwind but the 6km back were pure pleaseure with the tailwind and tide bringing me home.

Now I'm doing laundry and will probably go for a run or bike ride tonight. I enjoyed my sunrise paddle so much this am I'm going to do it again tomorrow. This time I'm going to get up a little earlier and get a thermos full of Starbucks to enjoy on the beach at the halfway point.

The Kolo Memorial Biathlon this am. The kids came down from their camp. 10am start - paddle then run. Keir won for men's kayak, chris for men's canoe, Courtney for women's kayak. I won for womens canoe. Haha no, just kidding. There were no women's canoers racing :(

after loading the boats, everyone went to Muzzies for the famous sandwiches. I got Attila & pete to order mine so i wouldn't have to wait once the mass of paddlers got there. (the staff at Muzzies didn't know what hit them when 20 kids showed
up at once!)

in the afternoon, jess and I paddled out to the beach for the afternoon. Lots of dolphin action. Also lots of boats coming into the Anclotte river when we were paddling back in. Like the 400 on a summer weekend!

Dinner was the second half of my Muzzies sandwich (impossible to finish a whole one at a single sitting). We rented Little Miss Sunshine and watched it at the house. I uploaded my photos from the day to Peter's laptop but the Internet was down all night so I couldn't put them up on fb.

I left the house around 11pm and asi rounded the curve on Centrewood, my lights caught two deer just standing on the sidewalk. They didn't seem spooked and I was tempted to stop & try to get a photo but decided they'd probably take off if thecar stopped. Plans to meet for breakfast at 10am tomorrow.

Watching snl.

Stuff.
Ian found a seahorse. We can't tell if it's dead but it moves slightly when u pick it up so we put it back in the water

I went for a hard paddle this morning and then a bike ride out to Howrd Park and all around Tarpon Springs. Had a quick lunch then went out for another (easy) pAddle. Ther was a stiff headwind and the tide was high. Saw a trio of dolphins and hoped they would come and swim with me but just then the Spongeorama boat came by and they jumped on it's wash. So fun just to watch them having so much fun.

Had dinner at Crabby Bill's with Peter, Attila, Jess, Ian & Alicia. We were going to go back to the house & play poker but I could see everyone was tired and winding Dow (me as well) and bailed.
My tv remote had stopped working and the front desk said they would send someone to reprogram it. Clearly they forgot but I just googled the tithe tv brand along with the remote brand and model number. Brilliant interweb coughed up instructions for bypassing the code. I am once again prone and flicking through the channels instead of crouchng on the floor in front of the tv. Done & done.

My main interent access is on my iPhone and it's not the most convenient for blogging so posts will be infrequent.

The day I left for Florida, Ian Howes decided to come down as well so I had someone to travel with. It also meant we could drive straight through instead of stopping overnight. Suhweet!

The weather was amazing for the whole time I was driving but when Ian took over it started to pour and, since we were up in the mountains by this time, foggy too. It rained off and on pretty much until we got to Tarpon Springs.

The first day, Jess and I went for an easy paddle, talking the whole time. We hit up Panera's and did some other stuff and then went for another paddle in the afternoon.

On Sunday, I went for a paddle and then a run and got back to the ramp in time to see Daddio, Olga and Tamas jr as well as Sarah's parents. I met up with Jess afterwards and we paddled the 6km out to the Gulf and then headed to the beach. We hung out there for an hour or so and then paddled back in. The weather has been perfect since we arrived (which, th locals tell us was theturning point of a 7 or 8 week freezing, rainy stretch)

On Monday, I jumped on my bike and rode out to Dunedin - i think it's about 25km but will have to check on G-Earth (or Girth, as I like to call it). I arrived before anything much was open so went to Kelly's Chic-a-Boom-Room for brunch - so good, eggs benedict with turkey and chili-lime hollandaise. Seriously delicious!

I rode back, packed a dry bag, jumped in my boat and headed for the Gulf against an insane headwind at high tide. I hung out at the beach for about 40 minutes, then paddled back in. It wasn't too bad - even thought the tide was going out, the wind was at my back.

I grabbed a coffee at starbucks and then walked over to the sponge docks. It was PACKED with tourists so I only went into one store. One of the sales clerks started talking to me and then, because of my "accent" asked where I was from. Turns out she's from Alberta, has lived here for a little over a decade and wants to move back to B.C. (has a horror of raising her new little baby in Florida). I mentioned that I might start looking for a place in the future and, since she doesn't want to move until a year or so from now, I'm going to go check out her place. It's a little further south than I was considering but it's right on the Pinellas Trail and about 1km from the Gulf - 1920s bungalow finished in red oak. We shall see!

I decided to grab dinner at the Lime 'n Coconut - ceviche and shrimp. Ahhh perfect day!

I dropped by Pete's house on my way out that night - I was on a hunt for a decent book store (a rare animal, believe me!) Howe's is convinced that there are no stores dedicated to selling books anywhere in this area (although we think there might be many book-burning stations in teh state). They suggested I hit Target. I did and found two aisles of books - one of which was completely dedicated to youth literature (read "Vampire Stories") and the other to biographies of american personalities. however I did find something I've been meeding to read so was satisfied with the trip. I went to bed early which turned out to be a good thing since the people in the room above mine came in at 4:00am and banged around for awhile.

A couple lost hours in the middle of the night meant I slept in until about 8:30 and spent longer than usual drinking my starbuck's coffee. I felt great as I headed out for a paddle - 12 km (6 hard into the wind and against the tide and 6 amazing!! with both tide and wind at my back....
I was so starving when I got back that I decided today was the day for a Danny K's (aka Helen's South) breakfast. I was just on my way out for a run but stopped by the motel office to replenish my toilet paper stock (no housekeeping here) when I saw the interent computer was free. Bonus. So now I'm all caught up!

Today is Eve's last chemo treatment. Over the next few days she will feel progressively worse but, given the positive attitude she's maintained throughout this process and the fact that she is D-O-N-E, she will be happy that it's all over. If you know her, drop her a line to cheer her up! I know it means a lot to her to hear from us.

going for a run and then my afternoon paddle. Cheers!

*Spoiler alert* - this post contains content about personal bikini waxing. May spoil your appetitie, your day, your desire to read my blog.

The full realization that I'm going away on holidays just hit me last night so on my way home from work, I spontaneously dropped into the sweatshop at the Loblaws plaza for a pedicure + wax (no vajazzling for this girl's lady bits).

This nail place has always been a little sketch but I go there because it's one of the few in our area that does a proper brazillian (and it's on my way home from the canoe club). However, it's hitting a new low which makes me think they've already given up the lease and will be closed by the end of the month.

The place was empty of clients and only one esthetician - who I'd never met & looked about 12 - was on duty. The pimp was there, of course, guarding the cash register but no one else. That should have tipped me off but I figured 5pm on a Thursday is not peak mani-pedi time.

Anyway, you know how they usually cover the waxing table with paper sheeting? This time the girl only put down a 1'x1' square at ground zero. I thought huh? but was already standing there with no pants on and wasn't about to start questioning their cost-saving measures.
I was sceptical - anytime you ask a nail shop worker if they know how to do a brazillian they always "Oh yes" -  but she actually did a good job.

Okay, so since this was a spur-of-the-moment thing I didn't have two key pedicure items with me: my own nail colour and flip-flops for the trip home. I wasn't worried though - salons provide polish and paper sandals. I'd carry my shoes and wear the paper ones home.

Unfortunately, their nail polish carousel only had a limited colour choice. I selected a light pink but it had been thinned to the point of opacity so I had to pick something else - something I wasn't too crazy about. And when it came time to dry them, she pulled out a pair of regular flip flops!??! They were new/clean but reusable flops are so not cool for multi-use... but there I was with wet toes so there wasn't much I could do.

I paid, returned the sandals and walked barefoot to my car. It wasn't so bad but they had used rock-salt for the sidewalk throughout the winter. That, along with the staring from plaza patrons, was only mildly uncomfortable.

The really dumb thing about all this is that there are like a bajillion spas in Clarkson. Okay, three, but you'd think I'd just go there instead. But the truth is brazillians hurt - they hurt whether they cost $40 or $80 so I choose to pay $40. However, this experience has made me rethink thriftiness and when I get back from Fla, it'll be first class all the way!

Sick of basking in the glow of the Vancouver Olympics yet? Tired of the self-love, the aren't we wonderful stage? Well too bad...

While writing a post about how great it is to be part of a country that comes of age during an Olympic celebration rather than wartime, I came across this video I've been searching for for years.

I originally saw Atomic Cafe around 1982 at the old Roxy Theatre.  I loved that place! It was at Greenwood-Danforth and everyone went there (or The New Yorker) to see the cult classics - 2001: A Space Odyssy, Reefer Madness, Rocky Horror, Pink Flamingos, The Song Remains the Same...

Maybe that's why my dream is to open a similar venue in the Port Credit Town Hall. If only I had unlimited cash. (Let's face it, if I had unlimited cash, I'd move somewhere tropical).

Anyway, if you have a chunk of time on your hands and are interested in seeing how much we evolved over the second half of the last century, watch this documentary. It has all kinds of cold war goodness.

Here's another entertaining bit of statistical trivia from the winter Olympics. Canada had a fantastic result but Norway was amazing if you look at medals per capita.

Many of our athletes who didn't win medals were just fractions of a second behind the gold medal winner. Check out the Ny Times comprehensive illustration of just how close that can be...