Because of the warm temps and renovation dust, I've been keeping the windows open at night. Last night I woke up at 4:23am with that feeling... You know the one, where you think a noise disturbed your sleep but you're not sure? Anyway, I lay there for a minute before...there! Definitely a noise but nothing I could define - something like the fabric of a polyester jacket rubbing against itself. It was definitely in the vicinity of my front yard though. I couldn't get to the front bedroom window to check it out because the new tub is blocking the doorway pending installation today (!!) so I went downstairs and peeked out the slit windows at the door. Ah crap, my zone food cooler bag was there so it was probably just the delivery guy dropping it off.
OK, I've been a little annoyed with the delivery guys lately because when I open the cooler, it's clear that it has been tossed around and maybe even thrown up onto the stairs from the driveway. I didn't just come up with that idea -  I actually saw them throwing the bags around in the van one time when they rerouted the delivery to my work. The past couple of weeks, I've found the bag crazy-leaning up against the wall a few times. My meals are kind of jumbled up in their containers which isn't a problem, just not appealing. 
Anyway, as I peered out from behind the little lace curtain like a nosey neighbour, I caught a movement on the stoop. ah, that explains it... the guy must have just dropped the bag off and was still standing there, maybe saw the hall light come on. Which would...mean I was nicely lit...from behind. crap.
I froze. They froze. I waited. Now there was another sound - like wicker creaking under weight. Were they actually sitting down in my basket chair? No, I checked the other window and there was no one in the chair. Okay, this standoff was ridiculous. I flipped on the porch light and opened the door. No one. No one but a red raccoon, madly rolling my zone bag around and trying to open the zipper. Damn! He was going insane!

I brought the bag inside and took everything out to store in the fridge. There was crab in there - I think that explains what had him so worked up.